Most of you know that I'm a musician. To be honest I'd be surprised if you didn't know, considering how often I bombard you with my particular brand of audial oddities.

Many of you will also know I'm bisexual. To be honest, I'd be surprised if you didn't know, considering how often I bombard you with pictures of Oscar Isaac.

To many, art is an escape from the everyday murders that plague our lives. For me, music has been that and then some.

While I'm pretty good at taking things on the chin, having become somewhat inured to the cruelty of the ignorant, I can't deny that both listening to music and composing it gives solace to me.

It's a way for me to express my identity, to construct a feeling of joy and security in an aspect of my life that has often left me feeling ashamed and incredibly afraid.

Without music, I wouldn't be alive. That isn't hyperbole, it's a simple fact.

I say these things to impress upon people who might not have an adequate frame of reference just how egregious this attack was.

LGBT bars and clubs aren't simply places where LGBT people congregate, they're often the ONLY place that LGBT people can congregate while feeling safety, security, and an unbridled ability to express themselves in a way that is true to their identities.

I would go so far as to say that many of the victims of this atrocity were probably not out to their families, meaning that the first their parents, friends, and family hear of their identities will be through a heartbreaking phone call from the police.

This is how important these spaces are.

This wasn't simply an attack on LGBT people, this was an attack on the ability of many of us to feel safe, secure, and loved.

Upon hearing the news it felt as though a hateful stranger came into my life and took away my ability to express myself through music.
I felt a level of devastation that I hadn't experienced since the first time some cactus buggerer called me a "faggot", before I'd even hit my teens.

This is why this attack has affected so many people to such a significant degree. For a generation of LGBT people, the ability to stand with like-spirited individuals in a space built on trust, safety, and love has been perpetually contaminated by an act of pure, disgusting hatred.

Unsurprisingly, today, after such a horrifying event, I turned to music as comfort. While searching my computer for a song that for many years calmed me in moments of grief and anger, I came across an instrumental cover I recorded on a whim late last year, and had completely forgotten about. I've stuck it on the bandcamp because I need music today more than ever.

I love you all so much. As long as my heart manages to plod along I'll cherish you all, and the love you chuck my way. Love, Al. x